Working Lefty Harder... & Smarter

Many times over the years it would have been interesting to know what (28-years departed) Mom would do in this or that situation. Even if I had known, I still may not have followed her lead because our personalities are so different; but nevertheless, it would have been nice to know.

All of the positive mental attitude in the world and thinking isn't going to tell recuperating Righty to hold a broom perfectly (for that matter, at all) to sweep the back porch or to perform correct hair-washing techniques. Not yet, anyway, since the bone slipped ever so slightly when it healed. Like a shopping cart's one wheel aimed even slightly to the right, it takes extra work to steer the cart. For grass sweeping over the weekend, my entire right arm had to ungracefully adapt, straightened and way too complex and awkward to explain in words. I will never again take for granted the wrist's intricate and amazing mechanics.

When performing basic rehab exercises, asking good-hand Lefty what she would do has proven helpful. Over the weekend, closely observing Lefty's skills became a guiding "true." Specifically, squeezing a fist-sized rectangular-shaped piece of foam. It sounds simple, but I am learning that both focus and proper technique are keys to progress. Even the slightest grip difference, specifically proper fingertip-pressing, means that even though I do the exercise at least 10 thousand times a day (exaggeration intended), it is unknowingly performed only half-way if done wrong. Fortunately I started doing it right, and from yesterday to today, Righty's "back-bend" changed from a 10-degree to a 30-degree wrist angle.

Comparing (left) 4/22's pic to (right) 4/29's pic, with no noticeable difference; however...
It was markedly harder to achieve Righty's pose on 4/22, and her fingers would not straighten
I am ever-comparing Lefty to Righty

Maybe "smarter" will also work for planning a 25-year family reunion in June. My smarter starts with mega-prayer.

Therapy Visit #2: A Thumbs Down

For visit #2, Physical Therapist Jill was fully booked, so Matt worked on my wrist and hand. I decided that sometimes two perspectives can be better than one. After heat treatment and spreading lotion on my arm and hand, he paid special attention to my thumb and particularly the webbing between the thumb and index finger. "This is soooo tight" he commented.

"Yes," I replied, "For some reason the cast really bothered my thumb."

With the second cast, I whined to my doctor about my thumb. I was persistent enough that he cooperatively cut the cast material narrower between the thumb and finger, the thumb's webbing. He did it reluctantly, because it took extra time and meticulous work.

Mom's 1959 Easter brimmed-hat
Not as wide as Melania's April 2018 brim

Some of the exercises Matt and Jill have prescribed require proper thumb and index finger form. One deformed index finger, one tight and calloused thumb because of the cast, plus narrower than normal webbing are causing exercise issues. I compared Righty's webbing with Lefty's when I arrived home. There is a noticeable difference, and I suspect one of many reasons why.

It is confession time... I sucked my fingers, big time. Not only that, the unusual and creative form used was like no other child's on the planet. Now, it is finally coming back to bite. Visualize two pipe cleaners twisted into one; that is how I overlapped and crammed a then-pliable index finger and a thumb into my mouth. At the same time. And most of the time. To self-soothe (there were issues), probably 'til I was 40! Childhood is aiming a well-timed nudge or horse-buck at me.

Wrist exercises done at the ballpark?
Of course!

Milestone or marker #1: Last night at the Springfield Cardinals game I clapped; gingerly. Many times. And the clapping sounds were faint and heard by no one else, but I did it.Take away an endearing expression or skill, and when it returns, the feeling is unimaginable (surprise, joy, even soothing).

....and, take away for 25 years a sibling that is still living, and an impossible reunion seeming even remotely possible ...

Therapy Visit #1: No Pain, No Gain

Before visiting a physical/occupational therapist, the yoga prayer pose was impossible. Also, I couldn't clap and I couldn't extend my right arm fully open-handed. Oddly, and sadly, they are all arm actions that remind me of church worship. So, I deeply yearn to be able to do them... that is the goal.

On therapy visit #1, two things threw me for a loop: 1) Sticker shock at the cost of the visit, and 2) Therapist Jill said that, pessimistically, only 50-70 % mobility will return.

Those percentages got me down. My hope was shattered. After an evening visit with family, my departing words to them were: "Have faith for me, because I sure don't feel it yet."

After two good sleeps, I have determined that 50-70% are also fighting words. I want better than a C-to-D course grade for Righty. And, I am willing to work for it. I was given homework, consisting of two sheets showing 7 exercises to practice at home, 4 to 6 workouts a day. Check, I will do them at least 6 times a day.

To make workouts more beneficial and organized (always), I have done a few key things:

• Divided a day into 6 manageable time-slots, also called a workout schedule: 6:00, 9:00, 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00... do-able. 
• Cut up the two exercise sheets into seven smaller-square sheets, to flip over after finishing each exercise, helping to keep track during home sessions, and for portability to do exercises on-the-go.
• Use lotion, mild heat, massage the hand gently, and drink water.
• With one of the exercises, 15 reps are hard to keep track of, so I found a small holder for 15 toothpicks (15 reps). After each rep, a toothpick is shifted to the other pile. When I hit 15 reps, why not do a few extra? 
• The last exercise is the yoga prayer pose. I set up a tabletop mirror to observe important arm posture, to do it correctly. Meaning I don't let Lefty do more than her fair share of the pose. It is hard. It hurts. That wrist bend feels like I am attempting to bend in half an unforgiving block of wood. Soft tissue can turn tight, and Righty will not cooperate. Thus far, the pose has insignificant progress.

In a quirky way, all of the "bite-sized" sheets create markers that make a session feel rewarding. I can't depend on what I see to feel benefits, because measurable progress hasn't come. Gain requires trained (expensive) guidance plus five free things: Patience, faith, grit, time... and pain.

A square sheet of the prayer pose & one trusty mirror

And, during all of this, it reminds me to pray for the upcoming June family reunion. Push through the uncomfortable; in other words, pushing through the pain.

The Proof of the Pudding is in the Eating

The proof of the pudding is in the eating...meaning that you can only judge the quality of something after you have tried, used, or experienced it.

You're a cook... prepare a tasty meal for 5
You believe your pre-injury, non-elastic-waisted pants still fit... put them on
Your wrist has full mobility... extend your arms, flipped over
You love someone... each person's definition or expression differs, whatever it is... do it

Last night and this morning, intentionally trying to use Righty to wash my hair, squeeze lotion out of a bottle, apply stick deodorant, and eat right-handed with a spoon provided full opportunity for her to give feedback. She wasn't shy. I was reminded that she is still stiff and tight. I expected her to perform better, because she is getting stronger. Today in church I tried to extend my arms in front of me, flipped over. I learned that tomorrow's first occupational therapy session is really needed, especially since I wanted to but could not do a right-handed forehead-palm.

Cast removal day

9 days later, looking better, but
the picture below says it all...

Lefty was ready and willing to compensate, but Righty needs to be utilized.

Not being gutsy enough to face pain, I will never gain full range of motion.








Similarly, co-hosting and attending a 28-year entire family reunion, to possibly interact with some I have not seen in years, is a different type of occupational therapy. In a way, steady Lefty will be there to help, but emotional Righty ultimately needs to be the functioning one.

Arms flipped-over and extended
 reveals crooked Righty and how tight Wristy still is
(Pre-injury, button-closure pants are a bit snug, but they do fit!!!!)

Wristy is Tighty & Still Healing

Having my wrist cast removed after 6 long weeks made for a very happy day. No clunky half-pound weight to carry around. However, with freedom comes challenges, including Righty looks like a prosthetic hand and sometimes like a toddler’s chubby wrist and hand. A stranger. Not mine. Prosthy has swelling and is stiff and doesn’t work well; she is weak and awkward. And her skin is raw, vulnerable, and ever flaking and peeling. The day the cast came off it looked like there was a thick and shiny layer of dried Elmer's glue spread over the lower hand and wrist, begging to be peeled off or exfoliated, but ever so cautiously. Because the skin underneath was still raw. Like a bad sunburn.

Every day, to increase hand and grip strength, I stretch my arm and hand and then squeeze a ball. It is painful to do. But it is worth it because I am then able to utilize Righty more, to pick up my water thermos and drink from it. Woot, woot! Or hold a utensil to eat with Righty, but not very well or comfortably. The fingers pretty much work, but Wristy is still tight and creaky, like the "Wizard of Oz" Tin Woodsman.

Each morning when I awake around 5:30, Righty has returned back to a stiff state. It feels like all of the improvement from the previous day has vanished. It is again a tight and foreign, fake hand. A few minutes of work and stretching bring oils and life back into Righty and Wristy. Early morning weather has been unusually chilly enough to walk and briefly expose my wrist to refrigerator-like cool. I then warm it in a glove. I alternate and briefly expose it again to the chill, etc. trying to reduce the swelling faster (I'm a dreamer). It is actually supposed to be 3 months before the swelling is completely down.

Keyboarding is the thing that is not going well, because Wristy’s pivoting or twisting motion has not yet returned, but optimistically it will. I am praying, a lot; because I type, a lot. The doctor said the bone slipped ever so slightly when it was healing, and that could hinder motion. It is the doctor's job prognosis-wise to share the worst-case-scenario and scare the wits out of their patients. But my bone doctor also said that, hopefully, use and therapy will help its flexibility to return properly, without surgery to insert a small plate (and wear yet another cast). Everybody is different, so results are unpredictable. For a time, Lefty will still need to cover computer typing, pretty much solo; she's been a trooper.

It is not the lighting, nor is it an illusion
Different skin tone & swollen...
It's not hard to spot Prosthy 

And so it is with close or family relationships that have been in an uncomfortable and fixed cast-like state. Flexible turns to tight. Awkward. Raw. Vulnerable. Sometimes even unpredictable enough to feel scary.

Prosthy immediately after cast removal
Not dried Elmer's glue; just skin ready to flake

You is "Me" & "Getting to Know"... Us

An early-morning, disjointed convo between me and my husband:  ME: I have 40 hits on my recent blog, one being my post onto Facebook, and one is you. HUBBY: And one is me. ME: In the count that I just communicated, you is “me.”

Thinking movie-land... you is "me", and all the world really is a stage. In the broader sense, there are movies that remind me of family life, and of my siblings...

It's a Wonderful Life--that movie's you-is-"me" overall tension-filled drama represents my parents. Dad was driven, dramatic, frustrated, lanky George Bailey; and Mom was sweet yet strategically-stubborn Mary (Mom was actually quietly-stubborn, personified).

Their 6 offspring cannot be represented by just one movie, like "Cheaper By The [1/2] Dozen;" but, "Little Women" could somewhat represent the 4 daughters (we fit the 4 birth order roles; however, we always tended to be in-cohesive, except for the few photo ops below). Instead, like different personalities, we siblings have forged our own unique and varied movie lines...

Overboard, a flipped yet starry love story (a re-make could never replace resourceful Goldie)
Chariots of Fire, quiet persistence, exemplified
The Post, timely literary exposure OR, Woman in Gold, indirectly seeking to reclaim family treasure
Forrest Gump, a loyal, kind, brave soul--and a forever tribute to chocolate!
Breakfast at Tiffany's, internal identity struggles
Secrets of the Divine Ya Ya Sisterhood, laughter, friendship, and complicated identities

Norma Rae can't be left out. That movie's grit represents an "extended" sibling

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The larger-than-life stars in my family include...

Goldie Hawn
Ron Howard
Brady Bunch's Maureen McCormick (author... she's the one in the bunch who wrote about it)
Jerry Seinfeld or David Letterman
Princess Diana
Tina Fey or Amy Poehler

6 budding stars (the extra, tiara-ed one, represents Norma Rae)

The original Pumpkin Patch Kids

Each holding treasured items that were passed between us

Easter baskets, but no bonnets graced the sisters' heads

It's a Wonderful Life -- The 70s... Donna Reed... errr Larson... posed with us 

Our cousin bravely joined 5 of us for this pic

"ancy" 'N waving to you... at our niece's wedding

"ancy" 'N formal, thinking of you... at our nephew's wedding